Reading this article http://tinyurl.com/nbb49b on stltoday.com reminded me of something I like to share with my clients who are eager to settle their case at first blush or for terms that are not necessarily the best, but will end the case quickly.
Judges are human too. Hopefully, you've hired an attorney who will listen to you, but also makes you aware of the best/worse case scenario for your case. There is a time and place for settlement and a time and place for a trial. A good lawyer will know the difference and will share that difference with you based your set of facts. True, not every case warrants the expense or emotional toll of a trial, but being confident in your case and reducing your fear of the judge, etc. should help you to come to the negotiation table a little more relaxed and clear headed.
Don't be afraid to try your case based on your fear of going in front of a judge who will cast down judgment and disapproving glances in the courtroom. Judges are human beings and have been divorced, have families and (gasp!) have cheated on their spouses. In essence, they have been where you have been some time in their lives. Remember that when you think your bad acts might weigh in your spouses favor and want a hasty settlement.
Family Court is often not as formal as most people are led to believe, with television courtroom dramas, etc. It isn't as scary as one might anticipate. Knowing this and with your attorney's advice on the solidness of your case, you will probably end up with a better settlement if you proceed and show the opposing side that you are not afraid of putting your case before the court if necessary.
Practicing law is often like trying to smell fear. Good lawyers are able to do it, use it to scare the opposing side into a favorable settlement for their client. Therefore inner confidence in your case can only work to your advantage.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Facebook: Divorce Litigants Beware
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1904147,00.html
According to Time Magazine (see above link), a new trend in contested divorces is the use of Myspace, Facebook, and other social networking applications to find out information about misconduct, infidelity, and employ-ability of spouses seeking maintenance (alimony).
A divorce is not the time to post the details of your life for all to see (and stalk). If you are in divorce litigation, you'd best be advised to remove your profile from Facebook or other social applications until your divorce is final. Even making public comments on other's profiles could be perceived to be flirting, etc. and should be avoided.
This point should be especially considered in a custody battle. No amount of internet fun is going to outweigh the cost of not succeeding in a battle for your kids. An ex is an ex for a reason and could go to extreme lengths to stretch the interpretation of a raunchy or even slightly suggestive photo, comment, or other posting on any website. It would be easy for an attorney to spin a small joke into a poor parental choice for all to see, including a judge.
Even locking your profile, or using some other safety mechanism should probably be avoided, as it would be easy for your spouse to have a friends look at your profile, etc.
There will be plenty of time in your newly found single life to brag about your conquests and just be plain social. This may be the only time you go through a divorce, so make it worth the money you are paying your attorney to fight for you.
According to Time Magazine (see above link), a new trend in contested divorces is the use of Myspace, Facebook, and other social networking applications to find out information about misconduct, infidelity, and employ-ability of spouses seeking maintenance (alimony).
A divorce is not the time to post the details of your life for all to see (and stalk). If you are in divorce litigation, you'd best be advised to remove your profile from Facebook or other social applications until your divorce is final. Even making public comments on other's profiles could be perceived to be flirting, etc. and should be avoided.
This point should be especially considered in a custody battle. No amount of internet fun is going to outweigh the cost of not succeeding in a battle for your kids. An ex is an ex for a reason and could go to extreme lengths to stretch the interpretation of a raunchy or even slightly suggestive photo, comment, or other posting on any website. It would be easy for an attorney to spin a small joke into a poor parental choice for all to see, including a judge.
Even locking your profile, or using some other safety mechanism should probably be avoided, as it would be easy for your spouse to have a friends look at your profile, etc.
There will be plenty of time in your newly found single life to brag about your conquests and just be plain social. This may be the only time you go through a divorce, so make it worth the money you are paying your attorney to fight for you.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
How To Choose a Divorce Lawyer
If you're like the majority of people seeking legal counsel for a potential divorce, you haven't done it before. Choosing a lawyer for your divorce can be a daunting task. Once you get over the hump of actually deciding you want to pursue a divorce or research what your options are if you in fact decide to proceed with a divorce, one of the most important things you will need to do is figuring out who to hire.
Most attorneys these days offer free consultations. What this means to you: they need your business and want you as a client. Take advantage of this. Remember you are potentionally going to be paying them money and you shoud be satisfied with what they have to offer.
My Top 5 Tips in Hiring a Divorce Lawyer:
1) Come to your consultation prepared. Write out a list of questions, legal or otherwise, of which you would like answers, whether you are using the correct legal terms or not. Lawyers won't expect you to know anything about the law, but you do know about your life. Remember, there are no dumb questions. You don't get divorced every day and it will take time to understand what happens in the process. Every question won't be answered in your first meeting, so keep a running list of things as you go along.
2) Make sure the attorney listens to what you have to say and what your goals are in the case. You know your life better than anyone and whether you've chosen to be divorced or not, your lawyer's job is to make the best of the circumstances. I often ask my clients to provide me with a wish list of what they would like to see happen in the case, whether it is something I can do or not. After they've made their lists, we discuss what we can and cannot do within the confines of the law and their particular set of facts and whether any of the alternatives are something we should tackle.
3) Be prepared to briefly discuss the background of your case. A good divorce lawyer will tell you that every divorce case is unique and should be treated as such. An attorney who does not seem engaged or personal to your set of facts shouldn't be hired. He or she should ask questions a long the way so you know he or she is listening and not treating you as a "cookie cutter" divorce.
4) Write things down. Don't be afraid to take notes during the initial consult. If you are meeting with a divorce lawyer, you are undoubtedly in the intial stages of a very emotional process. Sometimes clients are shocked at their spouse surprising them with divorce and at the consultation you may be surprised at your emotions bubbling up. Meeting with an attorney brings it to reality even if you've been planning a divorce for a while, even years. Writing things down will help you focus and get the most out of your consultation, while helping you remember it later.
5) Personal qualities count, choose a lawyer you are comfortable with and genuinely like. You will need to communicate openly and frequently with your lawyer. It is important that you have a good rapport with your attorney so you can approach them with questions or even suggestions of what you'd like seen done in the case. No matter how good a lawyer is, she cannot read your mind and know what you are feeling about the ongoing process. A good lawyer wants her clients to be satisfied and they cannot be unless they are given a voice in the case.
Most attorneys these days offer free consultations. What this means to you: they need your business and want you as a client. Take advantage of this. Remember you are potentionally going to be paying them money and you shoud be satisfied with what they have to offer.
My Top 5 Tips in Hiring a Divorce Lawyer:
1) Come to your consultation prepared. Write out a list of questions, legal or otherwise, of which you would like answers, whether you are using the correct legal terms or not. Lawyers won't expect you to know anything about the law, but you do know about your life. Remember, there are no dumb questions. You don't get divorced every day and it will take time to understand what happens in the process. Every question won't be answered in your first meeting, so keep a running list of things as you go along.
2) Make sure the attorney listens to what you have to say and what your goals are in the case. You know your life better than anyone and whether you've chosen to be divorced or not, your lawyer's job is to make the best of the circumstances. I often ask my clients to provide me with a wish list of what they would like to see happen in the case, whether it is something I can do or not. After they've made their lists, we discuss what we can and cannot do within the confines of the law and their particular set of facts and whether any of the alternatives are something we should tackle.
3) Be prepared to briefly discuss the background of your case. A good divorce lawyer will tell you that every divorce case is unique and should be treated as such. An attorney who does not seem engaged or personal to your set of facts shouldn't be hired. He or she should ask questions a long the way so you know he or she is listening and not treating you as a "cookie cutter" divorce.
4) Write things down. Don't be afraid to take notes during the initial consult. If you are meeting with a divorce lawyer, you are undoubtedly in the intial stages of a very emotional process. Sometimes clients are shocked at their spouse surprising them with divorce and at the consultation you may be surprised at your emotions bubbling up. Meeting with an attorney brings it to reality even if you've been planning a divorce for a while, even years. Writing things down will help you focus and get the most out of your consultation, while helping you remember it later.
5) Personal qualities count, choose a lawyer you are comfortable with and genuinely like. You will need to communicate openly and frequently with your lawyer. It is important that you have a good rapport with your attorney so you can approach them with questions or even suggestions of what you'd like seen done in the case. No matter how good a lawyer is, she cannot read your mind and know what you are feeling about the ongoing process. A good lawyer wants her clients to be satisfied and they cannot be unless they are given a voice in the case.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Welcome to St. Louis Family Law
Welcome to my blog or blawg...
The purpose of this blog is to keep anyone interested informed and updated on the latest family law topics as I continue the journey of being a family law attorney in St. Louis, Missouri. I will be discussing the multitude of topics both legal and otherwise pertaining to the topic of family law legal issues in Missouri on a regular basis.
I hope to keep this blawg as informative and relevant as possible.
I'd love to hear from you with comments, questions or suggestions of postings.
The purpose of this blog is to keep anyone interested informed and updated on the latest family law topics as I continue the journey of being a family law attorney in St. Louis, Missouri. I will be discussing the multitude of topics both legal and otherwise pertaining to the topic of family law legal issues in Missouri on a regular basis.
I hope to keep this blawg as informative and relevant as possible.
I'd love to hear from you with comments, questions or suggestions of postings.
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